I’m turning 29 years right about now.

Here’s a pretty good lesson that I’ve pondered today: “I gotta think more about doing the stuff I wanna do.”

With increasing number of responsibilities and stuff I’ve been pondering that I also want to ensure that I use my time the way I want to spend it. I could say “spend your time wisely”, but I don’t. Since I can also spend time “unwisely”. I can go to sofa and stair the wall paint for an hour if that’s what makes me tick.

Perhaps you get the point.

After Dead Wake release I’m getting back to drawing board. I have got pretty good publicity. When Hightailed – years ago – got into PC Zone I was totally thrilled – and had the same feeling when Dead Wake got into PC Gamer zombie edition (the issue which I unfortunately could not get to myself). But you can’t buy stuff with just publicity alone.

Besides publicity I’ve been also earning some donut money from this whole gaming stuff. Okay, bit more than donut money, but it’s not like I could buy a house with the money that my games have brought me.

At least not a very big one.

I guess that’s the next thing that I’m interested in taking. Taking a bigger step. Earning tons of donuts. House-buy much donuts.

So… how do I get more donuts? That’s one thing I’m pondering.

Maybe that’s what I have been pondering too much. Maybe I’ve cared about the financial side and put some mental donuts blocks to myself. Maybe I’ve cared too much about the budgets and shit.

I have master’s degree from some computer biz thing. And studies in marketing. And tons of practical production experience (both from gaming & outside gaming). I’m good at serving people and have done all sorts of cool deals with cool companies (which have brought me quite a bit of donuts – figuratively speaking). I’m pretty good at coming up stuff that people want or could be interested in. I have a very practical approach on things. I’ve been grown up to certain type of approach in “business world”. This is one perspective.

I’m also looking this whole donuts business from another perspective.

I read this book Ignore Everybody and the perspective of that book is quite radical to everything I’ve read & practiced so far. In this book, the author recommends forgetting everything about what the others say – forget about money totally (when doing your own thing). And just do your thing as long as it’s fun. (Read the first chapter online for free and you get the point).

That sort of sums up what indie game production should be.

Has it been like that for me?

I suppose it’s not so black and white. To some extent, yes, it has been like that. To some extent, no, it hasn’t been like that.

Maybe I should just stop thinking donuts.

Forget donuts completely. And start making something totally cool. Something fun without giving a thought on “how many donuts will this thing get to me”.

Perhaps that is the solution.

Sometimes it’s good to shut up and let the others do the talking.

At least when there’s good discussion going on. Nothing to see here in this blog post. Move back to this earlier one please.

Finnish editor of Pelit game magazine wrote in her column that “WoW is not really a violent game”.

Which sort of made me wonder what is she talking about? (The article was fine, but this point about thoughts that suggest most games aren’t violent - like WoW - makes me wonder how our brains are wired)

Let’s take an example. In World of Warcraft you can use big swords. And get experience for killing anything that moves. To me… the missing link sort of calls for “violence” (or am I missing something?).

Are we gamers so accustomed to violence that “cartoony violence” or “hitting others with blunt objects to help us improve ourselves and get more money and stuff and whatnot” is “not really violence”?

Maybe in comparison to Hitman it’s not so violent but compared to Tetris WoW is pretty violent.

I rest my heavy case.

Creating games has many beneficial things in life (whether or not you plan to sell any games): team work, social skills, organizing work, creativity, writing, networking skills… and tons of more.

I started to ponder the most important lesson/experience/thing I’ve got from gaming.

I don’t know what the answer for me is… but somehow I feel that the possibility to share things (and rant about them) together with people and friends must rank pretty high in my list.

Or just rants.

Can’t decide.

Maybe it boils down to experience sharing.

What you’ve got from this thing we call “game dev”?

I started pondering that it must be like thousands and thousands of hours that I’ve put into different games. I’ve played tons of games. I’ve enjoyed tons of games. I’ve explored the ruins of Diablo… conquered the worlds of Civilization and shot tons of zombie heads. And possibly couple of other things between.

Was it all worth it?

What about you? How many hours of fun has your gaming hobby brought you (or at least how many hours you’ve spent in your whole life playing games). We are grown ups. Well, I’m am. Sort of.

Adult men playing video, board and other games. Is this bit silly?

You betcha.

I’ll do the same in the next life. You?